Each night we shed a silent tear, As we speak to you in prayer. To let you know we love you, And just how much we care. Take our million teardrops, Wrap them up in love, Then ask the wind to carry them, To you in heaven above
JULIAN'S STORY / Bridgette ALEXANDER (MOTHER)
ON DECEMBER 7, 2004 WE WERE BLESSED WITH A HAPPY, BOUNCY, BABY BOY WE NAMED JULIAN JAMAAL ALEXANDER. WE FIRST NOTICED HIS CRY, HIS SOFT EYES, THE WAY HE SMELLED, AND HIS BEAUTIFUL HAIR. JULIAN LOVED TO EAT AND LOVED TO SLEEP. WE NICKNAMED HIM FAT-FAT SINCE HE GOT SO BIG SO FAST. HE HAD A SMILE THAT WOULD LIGHT UP A ROOM AND A COO THAT JUST MELT YOUR HEART. HE WAS A JOY TO SEE AFTER A HARD DAY, HIS GIGGLE MADE EVERYTHING OKAY. HE MOTIVATED US TO BE BETTER AND DO MORE. THE MORNING OF MARCH 24, 2005 CHANGED OUR LIVES FOREVER.WE WOKE AT 7:33AM TO FIND OUR PRECIOUS BABY LYING IN BED AND WHAT WE THOUGHT WAS SLEEPING. WE WENT TO MOVE JULIAN TO FIND HE WASN’T BREATHING. WE PERFORMED C.P.R, AS WE WERE BOTH CERTIFIED AND CALLED 911. THE AMBULANCE CAME AND PARAMEDICS TOOK OUR BABY. WE RUSHED TO THE LOCAL HOSPITAL AND UPON OUR ARRIVAL A NURSE SAT US DOWN. SHE SAID “IM SORRY, BUT HE IS GONE” OUR HEARTS CRACKED, TEARS FELL, AND EMOTIONS WENT WILD. WE WERE TAKEN TO A COLD, DARK ROOM AND SAW OUR BABY LIFELESS BODY LAYING THERE. WE TOOK HIM TOGETHER IN OUR ARMS AND HELD HIM AND CRIED. WE WERE SO CONFUSED AND DIDN’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, HOW, AND MOST OF ALL WHY. ANGER SET IN AND SO DID GUILTINESS, WE BLAMED OURSELVES WE QUESTIONED GOD AND WE POINTED FINGERS. JULIAN WAS BURIED MARCH 29, 2005 HIS SERVICE WAS BEAUTIFUL, FIT FOR A LITTLE PRINCE. WE NEVER NOTICED HOW MANY LIVES HE TOUCHED UNTIL THAT DAY. THERE WERE SO MANY PEOPLE; FAMILY, EXTENDED FAMILY, FRIENDS, COLLEAGUES, AND MANY OTHERS WHO JUST WANTED TO SAY A LAST GOODBYE. WE TALKED ABOUT IT EVERYDAY AFTER HIS DEATH, IN THE BACK OF OUR MINDS IT WAS ALWAYS THERE, BUT WHEN WE RECEIVED HIS AUTOPSY REPORT WE WERE SPEECHLESS. IT READ: CAUSE OF DEATH – SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME. WE BECAME S.I.D.S PARENTS AND OUR ANGEL WAS A VICTIM OF S.I.D.S. WE WERE AWARE OF S.I.D.S FROM A CLOSE FRIEND OF OURS WHOM LOST THEIR CHILD YEARS BEFORE.BUT LIKE MANY WE WERE NAIVE, WE THOUGH “THIS COULDN’T HAPPEN TO US”. WE SLEPT WITH OUR FIRST CHILD NEXT TO US AND HE SURVIVED SO THERE WAS NO DOUBT IN OUR MINDS, WE ASSUMED JULIAN WOULD BE FINE. WE WERE UNEDUCATED THEN TO THIS MONSTER CALLED S.I.D.S, SO WE STARTED ATTENDING MEETINGS AND READING MORE ON IT. WE TOOK ACTION TO LEARN AND EDUCATE OTHERS.WE WANTED TO KNOW WHAT TOOK OUR BABY, WE WANTED TO HELP OTHERS PROTECT THEIR BABIES. WE EXPRESS OUR EMOTIONS TO ALL THAT WILL HEAR. IN THE 1990’S THE “SAFE SLEEP” CAMPAIGN WAS GOING ON. WE WERE YOUNG THEN, CHILDREN OURSELVES, AND DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT. NOW AS ADULTS AND PARENTS OURSELVES WE WANT TO REACH OUT TO OUR PEERS. MANY YOUNG PARENTS DON’T KNOW ABOUT OR EVEN REMEMBER THE “SAFE SLEEP” CAMPAIGN. WE WANT TO GET THE WORD OUT TO OUR GENERATION ABOUT S.I.D.S, THE CORRECT “ROOM SHARING” GUIDELINES, AND HOW THEY CAN PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN. AS YOUNG, AFRICAN AMERICAN PARENTS, WE WANT TO EDUCATE OTHER AFRICAN AMERICAN FAMILIES ON THE RISE OF S.I.D.S IN OUR ETHNIC GROUP. JULIAN WILL FOREVER LIVE ON FOR WE HAVE DEDICATED OURSELVES TO TELLING HIS STORY, LEARNING MORE ABOUT S.I.D.S, EDUCATING OTHERS, AND SUCCEDING IN FINDING A CAUSE TO SUDDEN INFANT DEATH SYNDROME.
JONATHAN AND BRIDGETTE ALEXANDER PARENTS OF JULIAN JAMAAL ALEXANDER
Miss You!!! / Jonathan Alexander (Dad)
Not a day goes by that I don't think about you, it still hurts each and everyday your not here, but we will meet again one day that glorious day in Jesus name Close
Sweet Baby / Tiffany Tatum (friend)
So Sorry for your lost. Death is our enemy we inherit it thru our first parents Adam and Eve but Jesus died for us for us to have a chance at everlasting life. Revelation 21:4 says: And he will wipe every tear from their eyes and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away. Can't wait to meet you Julian :) Close
Mei the God of comfort and tender mercies continue to comfort your family and friends and may you find comfort in knowing that you are cared about. And may you find comfort in the words found in the Holy Scriptures:''" And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes and death will be no more neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away. Please accept my sincere condolences.
I will never forget / Stepahnie Chambers (A really close friend of the family )Read >>
I will never forget / Stepahnie Chambers (A really close friend of the family )
I was 16 at the time. it was the most horrifing thing I have ever witnessed. It was very early my mom was on vacation Julian went to my mom's daycare so we weren't there when my aunt got the call. we lived 10 minutes away from bridgette and jonathon we never drove so fast. I remember arriving at the hospital seeing Jonathon it was like his body was there but nobody was home. we went in to see julian the room was sooo cold. I remember seeing bridgette holding him. I just crying my mom had to take me out of the room. I have been to many funerals before but NOTHING that. He looked so peaceful.
Condolences/ Elizabeth Matlick (no relation )Read >>
Condolences/ Elizabeth Matlick (no relation )
I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I was visiting the national SIDS web site because our daughter Vivian Grace had a "near SIDS" incident that was thankfully caught in time. She spent a week in the ICU after suffering respiratory arrest and requiring resuscitation. Although we are hopeful she will be ok I am researching this terrible medical condition. Her risk of SIDS is higher now and I am so scared. I came across your web site and the tears are flowing. I just want to tell you you are not alone and that love surrounds you. I wish you peace and a growing family. Best wishes and prayers. Elizabeth Matlick Close
Angel/ Ron John (Friend of mother )
Hey lil angel I would like to say happy b-day to you and may you enjoy your b-day with the good lord who is at your side always. I wanna say thank you Lil angel for displaying your upbeat nature thru your mother Bridgette who is a wonderful mother. Even tho me and you didn't meet one another personally I've met you thru her. Your beautiful smile was on display every time me and your mom Bridgette crossed paths. I wanna say thank you for allowing your mother and I to remain friends every since me and her met thru high school. To the father we never met but im sure you was gonna be a great dad to your Lil man. Mei god be with the family always. Thank you Lil angel for living in each and every one of our lives thru your wonderful family. You are in great hands with the lord above in those beautiful pearly gates. Til the time we meet continue to look down on us and you will never be forgotten. We all love you lil man. Close
Heart speaking and longing for you / Deborah Williams (Grandmother)Read >>
Heart speaking and longing for you / Deborah Williams (Grandmother)
Its one of those days when my heart is filled with love and I take one of manymany moments to sit and think of my precious grandbaby Julian. I remember your sweet smell, your baby giggles, your wonderful lively eyes and the love you gave back to all of us who loved you. I thank my Father, my God for blessing me with such a beautiful angel, such a blessing he gave us in Julian. Though only here with us for 3 short months it feels like he lived more of a lifetime than all of us could ever have lived so far. You see in my heart I know and feel God's presence and how he manifested his love for us through this sweet baby. I would watch him sleep so peaceful, watch him smile in his sleep, playing with the angels and I took in all of those wonderful memories not realizing that they would be memories. God is so good, he is so awesome, he knew what we needed, he knew who we needed and he blessed us tremendously with Julian. I feel Julian in my heart, my spirit always. I feel God's love for me more and more. I bless the Lord and praise him for his goodness and mercy. Father, thank you for blessing me with Julian, thank you for blessing my daughter and son in law with such a special baby. Thank you for revealing an everlasting love that none can compare to. Julian as always, save a seat on Jesus lap for me. I love you and miss you.
A guardian Angel / Shirley Walker (Cousin)
My darling angel, I never got to hold you, I only saw your picture but and I am grateful for the honor of seeing you. You are in a better place, I know I will see and hold you one day. TO the family never forget that to everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. Eccl. 3:1 Close
Thank You / Jonathan Alexander (Father)
I just want to thank everyone for their words of wisdom and encouragement. My son will be deeply missed by everyone, see you soon baby! Close
Thinking of Your Precious Family Julian / Andrea Long (We Care )Read >>
Thinking of Your Precious Family Julian / Andrea Long (We Care )
Sending our prayers and love to your family from our family. May the Lords peace and grace be with precious Julian's family during the holidays and always. Know that one day we will all be reunited with our precious children. What a precious Son you have.
MERRY XMAS FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS JULIAN / CHRIS (BRADLEY EVANS FAMILY )Read >>
MERRY XMAS FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS JULIAN / CHRIS (BRADLEY EVANS FAMILY ) Close
Missing my GrandAngel / Deborah Williams (Grandmother of Julian )Read >>
Missing my GrandAngel / Deborah Williams (Grandmother of Julian )
Julian, my sweet Fat Fat, I'm having one of those days where I need a sweet innocent hug. I need a smile that can light up the darkness and run it away. I need the unconditional love that only the littlest angel in our family can give. I miss you sweetie. I didn't have you long enough but I realize, God said yes, you were here long enough to do the mission he had for you. I'll never get to see you crawl, to walk, to really know who you would have turned out to be. My heart gets heavy thinking of the future without you. I often have a dream where I see your dad coming up the stairs to my home holding you and you reach out for me to get you from him. That dream seems so real and yet it never happened. You are chewing on your bottle, yes you are teething.. Javon is walking behind your dad, and your mom is right behind him.. Sunday dinner at Mimi's .. you guys are coming again.. but .. it hasn't happen, yet I can see your smile, imagine your giggles.. I wake up.. its a dream always. I know you are near me, I know you are whispering in my ears, you are an ever present blessing.
I bless the Lord for you, for your parents, for your brother. I praise him for giving us the love he gave to us through you. You have no idea the big mission you accomplished. I'm so proud of you. You made it to the place we are all striving to be, home with Jesus. I look forward to the day when I am welcomed home and will be in the loving arms of our Father and will once again see you and hold you close.
I love you. I'm trying to be strong. I can only imagine the beauty you are now beholding.
=================================================== Understanding A Grandparents Grief
When a grandparent loses a grandchild It's a hurt beyond compare For they cry not only for the child But for their children whose tears they share
So in effect it's a double hurt Feeling like an empty shell For trying to console their child And console themselves as well
So if someone ever tells you Of a Grandchild that had died Remember they have a double pain And understand the tears they've cried
Julian/ Stephanie Gray (Friend)
Hey Fat Fat I sure do love your Grandma and miss her talks, please give her extra hugs from me and let her know that she always has a friend by her side. Your truly missed sweetie, I wish I had the chance to hold you. Close
You have created a very loving website for such a beautiful Angel. God is definitely watching over you. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Julian was and is such an adorable baby and I'm sure he is now a handsome little angel. God Bless, Ayrika
I am so sorry for your loss. / Tammy Blackmon (none)
I lost my son today 7/26. He was 4mos, his name was Jarrett Jerrell Blackmon. They are telling us it was sids. It will be confirmed tomorrow. I was looking on the net when I came across your site. I read your mommy healing. I need to tell you how much it is helping me! I am asking Why! It is giving me strengh to go on as I do have other older children. Jarrett was my last. He was my love, infact that was what I called him. My love. Thank you and I am so sorry for your loss. I know it must still be hard for you, this is a pain I have never experienced and never wanted to. My heart goes out to you and your family and all who have lost a child.